"The world spins. We stumble on. It is enough. "
but I’m going to take a step in a positive direction and read a book for pleasure instead.
I have literally been aching for the written word, and something other than a russian literature assignment, mind you.
also, for “Lent” I’m going to try to let go of the repeated action that continues to lead to the reprisal of my breakdowns…
it will be easy
also, things about today
- I bought a shirt at a thrift shop for 3 bucks
- I ran a total of 5 miles between the gym and the road and I walked up 50 flights of stairs on the stair climber
- NYSC is beautiful I feel like a celebrity when I go there
- I woke up feeling ugly but didn’t get upset about it and had a great day anyway
- ended up feeling hot as shit
- laughed alot
- didn’t take things too seriously
- worried about stuff that ACtUALLY matters>!!?!?
- talked about things I care about with people I care about
- took deep breaths
but I had such a great conversation with two of my best friends
and I feel like self-actualization is finally just about to take precedence in my life.
and in a completely natural, emotional, feeling and ALIVE way, I am here and it is beautiful and so is life.
Happy Monday !
It is a peculiar feeling.
Even if you’re having shitty thoughts, you can change those thoughts and pull yourself out of it. Take a deep breath and let it go.
SUCH A GOOD WEEKEND
stuff & things
- I met fun people
- I HAD FUN
- I was reckless and wild and young and carefree
- I kissed a girl (oops)
- and several guys
- and met a really nice guy
- and I was confident and I felt pretty
- and I danced alot
- and boys texted me the next morning
- and I laughed so much with my BFF and I can’t wait for her to visit
- YAY COLLEGE
me staring at all of the hot guys at this school
finna get CRUNK with this lil princess
NEW SNEAKERS all purple everythang
- I ran over 4 miles before class
- I presented my poetry at creative writing workshop and I got a lot of great feedback and I feel like I am not the worst writer in the world and that’s a really nice feeling
- I ate way more cookies than I should have and didn’t do nearly enough homework but that’s okay
- I felt pretty ***
- I didn’t cry
- I talked about things that upset me without losing control of my emotions
- I smiled on the train while mouthing the lyrics to songs and was so so happy
- I’m lying in bed naked and I feel in control and positive
- I’m going to visit my best friend at her college this weekend and I am so excited
- I booked my trip to south carolina for spring break
- I ran today (alot) and I smiled while I was running and I soaked in the sun and I was happy to be alive
- I’m moving in the right direction
- I realize how important my friends are to me, and I am ready to start acting that way
- being jealous has lost its appeal
- I made dinner by myself and didn’t mind
- I’m really trying
I RAN 9 GLORIOUS MILES TODAY
I ran under three bridges, all the way to the edge of Manhattan.
life is wonderful.
(PS OUR PACE AT 6 MILES was 7:56)